the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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