I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize