You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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