billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
