her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
