You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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