the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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