My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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