okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
