I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
