hotel room ftw
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
