I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
