I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I understand Curling. That high.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
