Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
