Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick