My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!