Screwed.edu
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize