I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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