Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
