11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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