Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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