I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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