If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
