Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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