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Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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