Someone shit on the floor
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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