im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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