I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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