I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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