Swine flu. Run for my life!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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