Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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