I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
