hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
