so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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