Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Rumble strips road head = magical
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
