Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize