great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
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i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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