Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
