3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird