Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2