two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
