How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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