I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
