Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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