if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize