What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.