dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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