This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Bring me that man meat
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
