i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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