ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."