they're staring at me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today