If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night