so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.