All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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