and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
where are my eyebrows?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
