It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.