i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row