i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way