last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with